"Quality Time", what is it? Quality time is special, focused time we spend with someone. It is time when the other person becomes the center of our attention and we focus directly on them. A time without distractions, a time when we are giving and receiving and enjoying one another. Aaaahhh, how we love quality time!
Without a doubt, these "quality times" are beneficial and certainly bring quality to our relationships. Such times are quite necessary and beneficial, particularly, between us and our children. These "quality times" are needed because they let our children know they matter, that they are of great quality and great value. And indeed, our children must know that they are worthy of our undivided, special attention!
However, "quality time" can become a trap by which our children are actually cheated! They may really receive a small quantity of our time, while we justify ourselves by giving them "quality time". Our children need more from us than quality time, they need "quantity time", time that is just mundane, ordinary time.
If our children only experience time with us during "quality time" in which they are the focus, they may become spoiled and expect that they should always be the center of attention. It is good for them to experience some mundane family time, a time when they are not the center of the universe. They need opportunities to observe Dad, "just being Dad" and, Mom, "just being Mom" . It's those mundane evenings with Dad working around the place and Mom tidying up from dinner or mending some pants that Johnny tore at recess, that they observe how to be a Mom or a Dad! What about that mundane time around the dinner table where they learn manners and things like, how to not interrupt adults when they are speaking, yet how to respectfully enter the conversation when invited! You see, invaluable lessons are learned in mundane, "quantity time" when we are just together.
All of this is not to say that in the quantity of time there can be no "quality” or “special" time. On the contrary, it is important that we take time to focus on building relationship with each of our children individually. Come on Dad, put down the tools or the newspaper from time to time, get in the floor (your wife, children and neighbors can help you get up!) roll around with those kids, go outside toss the ball, etc. Come on Mom, drop the dish rag, let the sewing machine go silent, and enjoy those darlings that are growing up sooo quickly. Don't worry, the work will be there tomorrow, but in a flash, the kids will be gone. The time that we give them is of great value.
So, slow down, take some time: time for your family, time for your children. Let's refuse to spend much time at our hobbies and careers and very minimal time with our families, then justify ourselves with statements like, "Boy I'm so busy I can't be at home much, but when I am I give them my full attention; we have "quality time".
Time is a resource we only spend once, let's spend it wisely, and not cheat our children by giving them very little, but "quality time"!
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